PART 6: TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE

PART 6: WHY SURGERY IS IMPORTANT

FOUR MONTHS KNOWING EACH DAY TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE

Hearing you are going to die if not treated is difficult to explain. I didn’t really believe it.  But we took it very seriously that day. The reality hit. It felt like life was falling apart for me. During these months I have processed this as much as possible.

There is a choice: you can choose to accept what you have been told or keep fighting for yourself.  My support is from God and has always been. Everyone has their own support system and belief which I believe is valuable to everyone. 

 As you know, I took the path of fighting for myself, but I did not disillusion myself.  I prepared my estate planning during this time.  The first time around I did not have time to even think about all this. The ironic thing is, I have created estate planning for many clients as an attorney, but it is different when you have a life threatening illness and have to think about your own.  Mark would come home and find me crying because I was working on it. I can not imagine how he felt seeing this from me.

Things go through your mind, like "does this person know how much they mean to me", or "how will my husband pay the bills without me." Who will help him.  Who will be there for my nieces, nephews, Godchildren? 

Mark and I are Aunt and Uncle to four children, Kylee, Kaitlyn, David, and Owen.  We are Godparents to Mark's cousin Kim's children, Andrew and Alyssa.  I have been around for each birth.  We have not been able to spend time with my nephews and Godchildren in the passed two years like we would have liked too.  This goes through my mind on a daily basis that I have not been able to go over and help my family with their children. Kylee and Kaitlyn are 10 and 8, the others are all about two yrs. old or less. I want many more memories with all of them. It is thoughts like these that go on during these months of waiting. This is time that can not be given back to me because of this disease and delay with insurance. These are the reasons I am determined to have surgery now.  

It is important to share this with you because as strong as a person can seem on the outside, there is so much more to the situation on a daily basis that you don’t ever hear about from someone in my position. 

I appreciate all of your support and promised to keep you informed and I will do my best.